It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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