giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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