The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize