I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
