You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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