I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
