I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
