So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
