so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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