I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
