My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize