The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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