is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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