If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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