So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
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But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
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I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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