it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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