kristin has been a bad kristin
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My liver just had a heart attack.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
