yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
