After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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