(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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