In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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