At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
