so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize