i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
