I am in a vortex of obligation.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
