Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
