Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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