Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize
