i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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