I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
