some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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