You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
