He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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