Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
