Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dear god my vagina.
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