Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just invented taco cereal.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
