of course. lets lasso hookers.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
