fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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