My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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