first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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