come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize