obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
