We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
