YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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