I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
