she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
