i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
