Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
