dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
