bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize