Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
