the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
