Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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