you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
