Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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