um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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