either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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