I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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