Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
