ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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