Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
