it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
