If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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