So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
