No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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