'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
