think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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